


Don't lose sight of me

by SwarleySparkles95



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Figure Skater Marco Bott, Figure skater Jean Kirstein, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwarleySparkles95/pseuds/SwarleySparkles95
Summary: Jean and Marco are both figure skaters and have been in a relationship for several months. However, Jean's obsession with winning gold and staying on the ice every living moment has made Marco feel like Jean's more committed to the ice than he'll ever be to Marco. Tired of waiting around Marco tells Jean that he can't handle being pushed to the side any longer. Will Jean be able to prove to Marco that he is willing to try harder at the relationship in time? How far will he go to prove it?





	Don't lose sight of me

Marco skated onto the ice gracefully and despite being surrounded by the cheers of hundreds of people, he swears he has never felt so alone. For once he has no idea if Jean is watching him or if he's in the locker rooms going through last minute stretches. Despite Jean's continuous cancellation of plans and obsession with staying at the rink almost every waking second, even when a competition was no-where near, the one thing Marco could always count on was that when they were in the same competition Jean would watch him without fail and give him a warm embrace when he finished. Marco really missed that. He loved Jean a lot. Sure he had been anti-social at first, viewing Marco primarily as the competition he didn't want to associate with, but over time, as he had told Marco himself, he had been captivated and gave up trying to stay away. He still had some serious social flaws but Marco loved him still. That was the problem. Jean may have stopped trying to stay away but the bridge between them grew regardless. Jean's determination was something Marco admired and was one of the many reasons he was attracted to him. But Jean just couldn't get the balance right, placing his skating as a constant priority. Despite his desperate pleas not to Marco’s brain decided to throw around the words that made him feel like he was not as important as Jean was to him. 

‘Not tonight okay? I almost have a quadruple salchow nailed and I need to keep practising.’ 

‘Can we re-schedule? I really need to stay on the ice tonight.’ 

‘ I swear I didn’t forget I was just so caught up in training I must have fallen asleep from exhaustion afterwards.’ 

Jean wasn’t ready for a relationship. He had too much going on. Every time he asked to reschedule it sounded like he wasn’t giving Marco a choice. Maybe he would never be ready. So in possibly one of the most painful experiences of his life Marco had to let him go. He’d managed to sob his way through an explanation of feeling second rate and that Jean didn’t have time for him, to end bitterly with ‘this just isn’t working.’ At first Jean had been livid and shouted at Marco that he obviously didn’t take Jean’s pursuit of a gold medal seriously, which was inevitably wrong and he knew it. Marco shouted back telling Jean he was being selfish. He was only asking for Jean to try harder at the committed relationship. Marco had competitions too and was fully aware and able to appreciate their limited time, but he was being pushed to the side so much that he simply couldn’t stand back and take it anymore. But as it dawned on Jean this was not just an argument that he could fight his way through he started to turn desperate, clinging to Marco, sobbing and begging him not to leave. Marco had his fists clenched and his mouth was set in a straight line as he told Jean dryly that unless he showed he could change and make time for him Marco wasn’t going to run back and wait around for him. Walking away Marco had felt like his chest had become hollow and he crossed his arms against the winter cold as tears cascaded down his face.  
Marco’s theme for this season was freedom which now seemed to mock him. He’d never felt more trapped in his life.  
*********************************************************************************************************************************  
Jean watched as Marco entered the rink and tried studiously to ignore the deep pain in his chest. At first he had been angry about the whole thing. He’d thrown himself into his skating even more than before, with angry vigour. In his mind he tried to blame Marco but as the days went on he finally admitted to himself that this was his fault. He lived and breathed ice skating but what was the point? In practice he landed his jumps and gave flawless technical performances only to come back to an empty apartment and the emptiness would set in. His flawless technique didn’t hide his hollow expression, like he didn’t have his heart in it. Marco had always caught his eye. At first he fought it tooth and nail. Marco was competition, not a potential friend. But Marco had been so sweet and genuine Jean couldn’t help but notice him. Gradually he found himself falling and couldn’t get his head around the fact Marco had asked him out. After four months Marco even moved out to Paris, Jean’s home, claiming the facilities were better there. They didn’t get an apartment together as they felt it was too soon but they lived close by. He wondered now what Marco would do – stay in Paris? Head back to Rome? He didn’t even know what he wanted Marco to do. The chances of seeing him filled him simultaneously with both hope and dread. It was painful to be close to Marco but be unable to reach out and touch him. It had been almost 6 weeks since the break up and it hurt just as much as it had on the first day. Marco had stopped practicing at the same rink and although Jean knew where his new one was he didn’t visit, unsure if Marco would even want to see him. He hated that it took him this time to fully appreciate that he could win all the Gold medals in the world and it wouldn’t mean a damn if Marco wasn’t next to him. All of his life he had been drilled to succeed and the pressure had been enormous. Now he doesn’t care if he lets his mother or his instructors down, even his fans. There’s only one person’s opinion who matters to him. 

Marco was about half way through his routine now gracefully sliding across the ice as if he was born and raised on it. His jumps were flawless and his sequence steps ran smoothly until a slight stumble half way through. Jean wondered if it was just to him that the usual light from his eyes were dimmed. In a selfish way he wanted it to be true and due to the break up. He wanted nothing more than Marco to be happy. But nothing would make him happier than for Jean to be the reason he was so happy. At first Jean had no idea how to prove to Marco he had time for him- would Marco ever be convinced? Jean wasn’t sure but he was determined- and when Jean was determined he pulled out all the stocks. His heart thudded in his chest at what he was about to do, something he never would have been able to envision himself doing. He was about to put his heart on the line, in public. More to the point he was potentially going to change his career for ever.  
Marco came to a stop in his finishing pose as the crowds went wild and Jean took his cue to go to the ice.  
************************************************************************************************************************************  
Marco was breathing hard with his eyes closed, exhausted from a complicated routine combined with a lack of sleep most nights since the breakup. He was ready to go home, collapse and mope for the next few weeks. So absorbed in his tiredness he didn’t notice Jean silently skating up to him with watery eyes and his heart beating in his chest. Jean was terrified and sad to be the closest he had been in weeks to Marco but also the furthest he’d ever been.  
Marco was jolted out of his tired zoning out by a weight around his lower legs and startled, jerking his vision downwards to find a weeping Jean Kirschtein. Marco frowned. What was his ex up to ? Before he could say anything Jean looked up at him red eyed, with dark circles- clearly he’d been sleeping just as badly as Marco had been. He gets tired when he cries Marco remembered and was surprised that Jean had allowed himself to feel this much before he had completed his free skate due to the potential impact on his performance. 

“Marco I know you have no obligation to but please hear me out. I need you to hear that’s why I’ve come out here instead of waiting for you on the side-lines- I wouldn’t know if you’d listen to me or not.” 

Marco continued to frown a little, fists clenched as he tried to keep his pity, anger and sorrow under control. 

“I’m sorry I neglected you and made you feel like you were nothing, I swear you’re everything to me.”

“Why are you only telling me this now then?” Marco whispered back, voice filled with hurt. 

“I needed to sort a few things to show I was serious. I also wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me or if you’d believe me but I promise what I’m about to do will prove everything.” 

Marco’s angry frowning changed into an anticipated, concerned expression. 

Jean gave a small, watery smile before speaking. “Marco, after this competition I’m announcing my retirement.” 

Marco’s eyes widened and his heart stuttered. 

“If you would be willing would you take me back? I’d not be skating anymore so it wouldn’t consume me and you would have the attention you deserve.” 

Marco was simultaneously horrified and relieved. Jean definitely loved him, he wouldn’t give up skating for someone he wasn’t in love with but Jesus he couldn’t take Jean’s career away. It would be selfish. 

“No.” Marco managed to whisper.

Jean’s eyes widened. He knew there was a chance of rejection but his hope of getting Marco back had been the only thing holding him together as much as he had been the past few weeks. More tears spilled from his eyes as he tried to hold back a sob, failing completely. 

“I could never be so selfish as to take away your career Jean, do you really think I could sit back and agree to that?”  
Jean was crushed. He was willing to give up the thing he loved most besides Marco to win him back and he had nothing else to give. It was over. Until he felt Marco kneel too and embrace him in a hug. 

“Don’t retire. You’re too good to retire and you have gold medals to win. I’ll take you back- just promise me that you’ll try harder to see me?”  
Jean’s eyes closed as tears trickled down his cheeks and he nodded manically before a relieved sob made its’ way out of his throat. 

“You won’t be able to get rid of me.”

Marco smiled. They pulled away and wiped away each other’s tears before leaning in to finally kiss again. It had only been weeks apart but to them it felt like years. The crowd roared with excitement and Jean and Marco were driven back to the reality that they were in fact not alone. Looking a little sheepish they rose to their feet and skated out of the rink hand in hand only to find Jean was gently told to stay on the ice as he was next anyways.  
There was no doubt that Jean’s hard work at the rink paid off in his performance but he was convinced that wasn’t what won him the gold. He was so ecstatic that Marco had taken him back that he danced around the ice and poured his heart and soul into the routine. He would be on cloud 9 whether he placed last or first. After finishing he'd run back into Marco's arms and refused to let go of him until the award ceremony. He sheepishly told his coach that he would in fact be staying on to skate. A little disgruntled but happy that Jean had made that decision his coach welcomed his decision. Jean was a tad sheepish that he had bumped Marco down to second place by only a couple of points. In typical Marco fashion he’d laughed it off, telling Jean that this sort of thing happened in competitions and there was no one else he’d rather lose to. Standing side by side Jean had dragged Marco from his second place stadium to the first place one gripping his boyfriend for dear life and grinning whilst kissing him over and over. There was no way he was letting Marco go ever again. 

*****************************************************************************************************************

Eight years later 

“Careful!” Marco fretted as he watched his five year old daughter, Rosie, stumble slightly. 

“I’m okay” She yelled back cheerfully, her grip tightening on Jean’s hand. Jean chuckled at Marco’s overprotectiveness and his daughter’s stubbornness. Both had won numerous medals ranging from bronze to gold, often one beating the other by a couple of points. After their marriage, they had even performed together as a public celebration. Now that they had their daughter they still skated competitively but less frequently. They had been married for a year and a half when they adopted Rosie as a newborn and fell in love with her instantly. Doing another round of the rink they stopped in front of Marco who was leaning on the rink’s edge. Rosie reached her arms upward as Marco lifted her up. 

“You’re starting to get too old for this you know.” Marco chuckled as he nuzzled her lovingly. 

“I wanna do this all the time! And win the gold for papa and daddy.” 

Jean chuckled uneasily. Turns out his daughter really took after him. He reached out and touched her cheek gently.

“There’s more to life than skating sweetie. It’s fun and we’ll come here and support you but remember to have a life outside of the rink too. You don’t want to lose sight of what’s important. There are things you’ll love more.” He ended blushing slightly and giving a loving smile to Marco, who was getting teary and reached out for a hug.

“You guys are so gross.” Their daughter complained 

Marco and Jean laughed each planting a sloppy kiss on each of her cheeks, laughing as she squealed, squirmed and giggled. Holding his small family in his arms, Jean was certain this was worth all the gold medals in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone reading! I started to watch ( get hooked) on Yuri on ice and this came into my head. I have written several chapters for Love at Rose high which I am currently editing and will have up in the next few days.


End file.
